The Evil of the Semi-Colon: A Rant on Pompous Punctuation

I try to have a sense of humor about grammar. Otherwise certain punctuation marks would cause me tremendous grief, anxiety, and suffering. Specifically, I’m referring to commas, exclamation points, and semi-solons. Please don’t even get me started on the whole hyphen vs. en dash controversy, or the average spiritual authors’ irresistible Love of Capitalization. I might groan so loudly I’d disturb my next-door neighbors. I’m going to vent now—just getting it off my chest.

Commas appear to be travelers. They just won’t stay put. I put them in a manuscript in one place, and then my clients move them elsewhere. Why? I don’t know. Some writers seem to disdain them. Others seem to crave them. But hardly anyone wants to let them rest. They’re tired. All those poor, misunderstood commas are trying to do is help us take a tiny breath between ideas. They don’t want to travel. Give them a break, writers! You need them for lists (x, y, and z) and, YES, they precede the word “and.” Help preserve the endangered commas.

What! Is! Up! With! Exclamation! Marks?! Seriously, folks . . . you’re coming across little prepubescent girls writing notes to each other in elementary school. Next we’ll have to start coping with tiny hearts and stars. Even bestselling authors of my acquaintance (who shall remain nameless to protect their privacy) indulge in unbridled expressions of their enthusiasm. Grow up!!! When I see an exclamation point I hear one of two sounds in my head: either a high-pitched squeal or yelling. In my body, I feel it like a slap across my face or a poke in the ribs. Intellectually, it’s like you don’t believe I can form my own opinion. And possibly you are trying to control me emotionally, but you don’t believe you yourself actually possess the technical skill to capture my attention with your words. This is not good for our relationship.

Semi-colons are the spawn of the Devil. I simply advise you to resist their lure until you are an accomplished writer. They are the single most pompous piece of punctuation ever invented. You may think you appear intelligent when you use them, but using them wrongly gives the opposite impression. It’s that whole issue of lists again. Where does a comma go? Where a semi-colon? I’m not saying I’m perfect and all . . . because I still regret the semi-colon on the first page of the first book I wrote (Barker’s Grub, 2000). What was I thinking when I crafted that sentence?

Live and learn.

My advice is to use semi-colons sparsely, if at all. Better to end a sentence with a period than to stick in a semi-solon and continue it by joining it with another full thought. It’s really okay to write short sentences. This makes them chewable, digestible morsels for your readers. Be simple. Be direct. Be clear. Writing is all about communication, and the goal is to be understood.

And, of course, all of the above being said, do not let your punctuation define you as a human being. Punctuation is not where you value comes from . . . at least not to me. Some people fret that they'll be judged on the merits of their commas. Or feel miserable for making typos. Not me. And one sucessful client whom I called an "over-exclaimer" yesterday, and said he reminded me of an excited teenage girl, told me, "Perhaps I should begin my next book with OMG." We laughed and laughed.

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Two Plus Two Is Going to Be What I Want it to Be: The Challenge of the Ultimate Decision (Thanks, Will Smith for Your Inspiration)

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Successful entrepreneurs are lifelong learners. As individuals, they are highly curious and they also make faster decisions than most other folks. They don’t hem and haw when they intend to accomplish a goal; instead they decide and then go for it, taking action after action until they have closed the gap between where they are and where they want to be. As a consultant and a creator, I am always looking for people to emulate who can talk to me (and teach me) about what it feels like to be successful, how they live life from the inside out, and what they think about while they’re on their path—and the video that follows is one such opportunity to hear from a guy who shows the way.

When his blockbuster 2007 film I Am Legend released, actor and producer Will Smith did a television interview with Tavis Smiley on PBS in which he says these inspiring words: "I don't want to be an icon. I want to represent an idea. I want to represent possibilities. I want to represent magic.”



He continues: “You're in a universe, where two plus two equals four. But two-plus-two-equals-four is only true if you accept that it is. Two plus two is going to be what I want it to be. There is a redemptive power that making a choice has, rather than feeling like an effect. Make a choice. Just decide . . . who you're going to be, how it's going to be, and how you're going to do it. Just decide."

As writers and creatives what can we learn from Mr. Smith? First of all, he looks like he is having boatloads of fun. He's a high energy guy. He went from being a rapper, to clowning on a sitcom, to being a master of possibility. He's got a successful marriage to an accomplished woman, actress, producer, and writer Jada Pinkett Smith, and he's a caring father to three great kids, all of whom are working actors, including son Jaden who starred with Will in The Pursuit of Happyness and then became the next Karate Kid.

Will Smith also does movies that teach the idea he "represents." Basically, he's showing us the power of the decision, the power of clarity, and of being a self-defining person. He's the "I am legend" guy, who's not living in the clouds--he's living LIFE full-on.

So I challenge you (and myself) to answer the question: What idea do you represent?

Please send me an email and tell me what you stand for. I contend that answering this question is going to pave the way for you to do remarkable things as an author and businessperson. It's the Ultimate Decision.