Do You Worry about "The Competition"?

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This morning, during a phone conversation with a couple of colleagues of mine, I discovered I have strong opinions about the notion of competition. This issue comes up for authors when they're writing book proposals and being asked to specifically analyze other books like theirs. It comes up for entrepreneurs launching new businesses who want to find fertile ground and experience the least resistance. And it comes up for every one of us when we get into the mode of comparing and contrasting ourselves with others whom we admire or envy, especially if we are in a mood of seeking approval, attention, or love, and wish to "measure up" favorably.

Opinion #1: There's No Such Thing as Competition. There are common needs shared by many people: some narrow, others universal. But in the realm of creation, the individual matters. Creating a book, a business, or a life would never be done the same way twice. Even two people reading the same book don't have the exact same experience. How could two writers create the same book? While I don't believe in competition, I do believe in preferences. What your potential reader or client or customer prefers may be what you offer vs. what someone else offers because of personal preference, but if you're being authentic, and providing values you are uniquely capable of providing, your task is really to express them how and where the people who you aim to serve can find them and relate to them. Gaining their attention starts by being inwardly driven and valuing yourself and going forward from there. As an old acting teacher and friend of mine used to repeatedly tell me, "Do what you're doing and let the chips fall where they may."

Opinion #2: Studying the Work of Other People Is Illuminating and Inspiring. Civilization as we know it is a collaborative enterprise of humanity. What we see around us is the result of 40,000 years of human interaction and conception on every level imaginable. The culture in which we find ourselves immersed is a dynamic context where nothing is settled. Therefore if you study those who serve similar audiences as you do, you will begin to see patterns and changes that show you where there is room to grow and evolve further. In the realm of success and expertise, strong presences, brands, and leaders instruct us. We must stand on their shoulders and go higher than they have gone. Yes, there may be a job available for one and two apply. Someone does "win." Someone else doesn't get that particular job. You could perceive this as competitive. At times one person has crossed a threshold, broken a ribbon, or earned a spot on the team. This does not end the life of the ones who do not experience these milestones. When the Oscars are handed out, the nominees may feel disappointed. But to linger on disappointment is to be attached to pinpoints in time. We don't really define ourselves by our wins and our losses; we define ourselves by the training and the experience of striving and the satisfaction of doing our best. If you cannot imagine taking the gifts of other people's creations and integrating them into what you are doing, then you are cutting yourself off from a very powerful source of information and collaboration. People often ask me about the rules for quoting from other people's books. My answer is simple: Say where you got it. Honor your sources. Honor the offerings--and then go forth and make your own way.

Opinion #3: People Use the Idea of Competition as an Excuse for Inaction. Want a little tough love? I hope so, because I'm prepared to dole it out. If everything has been done, and it's being done better than you can do it, and you want to do some more research before acting, and you wait and wait and wait--then you aren't actually a competitor yourself. When you identify a value that you can contribute, how dare you wait? For yourself, how dare you? For those you intend to serve, how dare you? There is certainly a time for study--research the need, research the information, examine what you're offering, do all that good and appropriate stuff--but then move forward. The most successful people I've met take steps and then navigate their course--while they're already in action. Making choices, even tiny ones, and then taking steps to deliver on your ideas as best you can at this moment in your life is the only way to get anywhere. In the end, no action is a choice. If you reach a moment when no action is the right choice for you, then your wrestling should end. My advice is simple: Turn your mind away and go in a new direction. No direction is an active choice at certain times. This no-action action is called REST. Resting does not involve revisiting your already-made decisions a million times. If you're still engaged in the pursuit of a specific goal even when you've counted it out as a possibility for you, then something is wrong in your mind. You're just looping back on the past. Or you really should be acting and you're stuck in fear. Possibility is infinite. Being stuck feels infinite. But that's a lie. It's just an excuse not to go for it. Let your purpose override your fear.

Opinion #4: Comparing and Contrasting Is an Important Ability... Unless It Is Based in Narcissism. Remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears? This porridge is too hot. This porridge is too cold. This bed is too hard. This bed is too soft. That's comparison. Bob sells widgets and I sell gizmos that do the same thing in a slightly different way--that's a contrast. Contrast is where it's at! It's not necessarily an up and down proposition when you look at life based on distinctions. Narcissism means seeing everything through the eyes of judgment. Because it is soft, it is good (or bad). Because Bob sells widgets he is bad (or good). In books, in business, in relationships, the perception of being seen as bad or good is tricky. It's not the place to start from. If you're overly concerned with other people's judgments you may want to look and see if you can locate what you are seeking from them within yourself. Whose approval do you really need? Your own. Whose love? Your own. Whose attention? Your own. Do your best and stay open, and if things don't go your way, learn to do what you do better. One of the beauties of the age we live in is how many opportunities are available to us. This is a sweet, sweet era in many respects. I think we complicate matters for ourselves. At least, I know I do.

My question to you is this: Is there something you would love to do or write? My invitation to you is to do it, no matter what you think could happen. Don't plan for disaster. If you see a possibility, there probably is one in front of you. But please don't live in your head in this strange notion of winners and losers. Opportunity becomes real by making it so.

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